Man vs Woman... Mr vs Mrs

[Mystica Michelle]

What I Want In A Man, ORIGINAL List
-----------------------------------
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover


What I Want In A Man, REVISED List
----------------------------------
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Works steady
4. Doesn't nod off while I'm emoting
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on weekends

[Limahong]

A man and woman are at a bar having a few beers. They start talking and soon realize they're both doctors. After an hour, the man says, "Hey, how about if we sleep together tonight? No strings attached." The woman doctor agrees to it. They go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes into the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. At last, she goes into the bedroom and they have sex. Afterward, the man says, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yes," says the woman, "how did you know?" "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started," he says. "That makes sense," says the woman. "You're an anaesthesiologist, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" asks the man. The woman replies, "Because I didn't feel a thing!".

[Don Xiexie]

Revive natin to thru CPR ... some jerk just passed this to me ... bahala nang mapahamak .... hehehehe.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
 
 
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
 You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
 We need it up, you need it down.
 You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
 down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the
 changing of the tides.
 Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
 And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
 Let us be clear on this one:
 Subtle hints do not work!
 Strong hints do not work!
 Obvious hints do not work!
 Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
 almost every  question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
 solving it. That's what we do.
 Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
 
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
 an argument.
 In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
 girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
 Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
 and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
 the   other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
 Or tell us how you want it done.
 Not both.
 If you already know best how to do it, just do it
 yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have
 to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
 neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
 default settings.
 Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin
 is also a  fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
 We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We
 will act like  nothing's wrong.
 We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
 hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
 to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
 you wear is fine.  Really  .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
 are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX,  CARS,
 the shotgun formation,
 or   NASCAR .

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.   Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
 Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's
like camping.

********************************************

Note to all females: please be gentle when making a reply .... 

[Darth]

San mo naman nahagilap to Don xiexie?
Parang mapapahamak tayo nito a.