Joe D'Mango's Love Notes

[oblak]

Of course you've  heard of Joe D'Mango. He gives advice on love and
relationships on Wave 89.1 (Philippines). Have you ever wondered what he
does when he has his own love problems?  Does he give advice to himself?
Does he handle it very well?
 
Three  fridays ago, our guru on relationships, Joe D'Mango, read a letter to his wife on his popular radio program Love Notes.  For the past 11 years, he had been giving advice to people who would write him letters about their  personal problems. To the surprise of his listeners that Friday, instead of  reading one of his usual letters, he read one that he had written himself to his wife Bing. Joe felt that he had to tell his listeners that even someone like him could go through a marital crisis, but that he survived it. Here's how his letter goes:


In our 11 years of marriage it was just the two of us. I never had a close circle of friends and she never had one either.  Life for us was just "you and me," day in and day out. We were literally  sleeping beside each other for 11 years. It came to a point that there was nothing more interesting to talk about. I was aware I was doing that but I never did anything about it. We were so close yet it seemed like we were so distant. Then came her new circle of friends.

They recently had an  elementary and high school reunion. Remember her
persistent suitor since elementary days? He was there. We already had four daughters and the guy had four kids of his own. They exchanged phone numbers. They started to text each other and this bothered me. A big part of it was insecurity and other part was that she once denied that she was texting the guy.

I felt  bad because she started hiding things from me. Then the guy asked her if they could meet for lunch. It became a source of tension between us. I finally agreed, but before that, I told her that I felt that I was going through the same pain again. I have seen so many stories like this. If you  told me the first part of the story, I would already know where it would lead to.

Bing accused me of being a "know-it-all" person. But deep in my heart, I
knew where she was heading. Why would a married guy see a married girl
unless it was for business or professional reasons? Finally, even if it was against my will, I drove her to the meeting place.
 
While I was waiting at the radio station, I wanted to call her but knew it wasn't proper. So I just waited for her to tell me how their meeting went.
When she related to me what happened I felt that she was keeping the
other details. I was afraid to ask because I wasn't prepared to accept her answers. I told her that it would be best if that was their last meeting. She got mad and told me that I was starting to control her life.

The following day, I saw a small, torn piece of paper that had the words, "lose you" in the trash can at home.  I started picking up the pieces of paper and putting them together. She had  written: "Felt sad because I felt that this will be our last meeting."  "Wanted to hug you..."

Before I could figure out what the third one was, Bing was already at my
back. She wanted to get the torn pieces of paper back.  She said it was
private property. We decided to talk.

By then, I was able to figure out the third line: "Not sure if afraid to lose you."  She had crossed it out and beside it, she had written, "Wanted to cry."

That was what hit me. How could you lose something that's not even with
you yet? That was a confirmation that she was getting emotionally
attached to the guy. We fought because she didn't want to admit it. She
said that what she had written was all about friendship and not about love. For the first time in our marriage she asked for freedom from me. For 11 years we were always together, and now this.

She had discovered her own little world and wanted to explore it. I didn't want to give it to her but finally I gave in. I told her that she could do anything she wanted and not worry about how I would feel. In fact, I told her that I was planning to leave her and kids for a while so we could give each other the chance to be alone. We decided to give the new arrangement a try.

The following day, Thursday, I went to work early and she texted me. I never answered back.  When I didn't respond, she called me. She said,
"I'm sorry. I love you and I  miss you." For the first time in our mariage I said, "I love you and I miss you too" with tears in my eyes.
 
I realized how much I loved her but I also knew how much she wanted her
freedom. When I arrived at the station I asked for a leave. My boss advised me to think it over, but he said that he would allow me to go on leave. After letting it all out I felt relieved. It was the first time in my life that I asked for advice about our relationship.

While I was talking with my boss, a messenger arrived with 12 white roses arranged in a basket. It came from Bing. Then a text message on my cellphone came, "I know that no material things can ease the pain that
you're feeling right now, but these flowers signify my pure and sincere
intentions.  I'm really sorry. Please forgive  me."

Still, a question continued to bug me: "I'm giving you the freedom. Will you choose to stay or go on?" I read the card, and it had the answer to my question: "Dear Dad, I finally realized that I made a very big mistake in choosing a new-found friendship at the expense of our long-time friendship. Please forgive me. I wil always love you."

Bing  called the guy and told him that she wanted to end the friendship. He said that they could just text or call each other.  Bing said that there was no need. 

We had dinner and talked up to 1 am. It was like getting married all over again. We lost each other and found our way back. I do not want to go through the same pain again. 

Friday came and it was the first  time in the history of Love Notes that I couldn't do Love Notes. I scheduled a replay. When I was at the station at 9 am, I composed a letter to Bing. I  was asking myself, should I read this or do a replay? I chose to read the  letter. It is not unusual to hear people say "I love you because...," but  this story has shown us that the deeper and greater love is having to say  "I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF..."


Love isn't when you can't sleep ... it's when you want to keep your eyes
open...

Love isn't when you keep holding on ... it's when you learn to let go...

Love isn't when you kill yourself with jealousy ... it's when you understand...

Love isnt' when you fall for someone ... it's when you catch that person
when she falls...

Love isn't when you see her everywhere ... it's when you close your eyes
and she is still there...

Love isn't when you tell her what you feel ... it's when you give
everything for her sake...

( here' my favorite quote )
And Love isn't  when you think you were blind ... it's when you know she
was wrong but you didn't mind!

NICE LOVE STORY HUH?

[SoyTee]

nice! happy ending si joe tha mangga 

[honey27]

thank's OBLAK!!! for posting JOE D'MANGO'S LOVE NOTES...


prang naka relate me dun ah! hehehe... 

[SoyTee]

honey, ako mejo lang 

[PaPerDoll092201]

UMMMMMMMMMMMM HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM EH??

[oblak]

hehehe ... thats marriage ... may mga time darating ganyang pagkakataon ... now im confused ... what's love again? HOLDING ON or LETTING GO?

advise pls ... ( ASAP ) lmfao

[PaPerDoll092201]

MERON AKO ADVICE;

LOVE = BULLSHITS...

[SoyTee]

ganun??

ah ganun ha!!


 

[PaPerDoll092201]

AHHHH, HINDI HINDI JOKE LANG JOKE LANG...

[oblak]

MERON AKO ADVICE;

LOVE = BULLSHITS...

we all have our "reasons" why we "hate/love"  love ... ako kahit ilang beses pa ako masaktan ... ok lang ... kasi alam ko it's all worth it ... basta love mo yung person tama di ba? hehehe ... pero ako ngayon "no serious relationship" love being single ... no commitment ... walang makulit sa phone ... alang txt ng txt kung nasan ka na at kung sino kasama mo ... ( ops teka di ba oblak may asawa ka na ) ay oo nga pala ... hehehe ...

sya nga pala ang pag aasawa masarap sa una ... ASAWA ... sunod nababawasan na ... then SAWA na  ... mababawasan ulit ... AWA na lang hehehe sana di totoo amen? amen !

[SoyTee]

ayos oblak

may hanep point ka sa keeen.

nagkaron ka ba ng gurlfren, nung may asawa ka na

aminin 

[PaPerDoll092201]

ABA MAGALING PALA ANG NAG INBENTO NG WORD NG 'ASAWA' WAHAHAHAH. MERON PA SUSUNOD SA AWA...'WA'NA HAHAHHA

[oblak]

ayos oblak

may hanep point ka sa keeen.

nagkaron ka ba ng gurlfren, nung may asawa ka na

aminin 

"NO BODYS INNOCENT. GOOD BOYS ARE JUST BAD BOYS THAT DONT GET CAUGHT"

MORAL LESSON NYAN: " WAG MAGPAPAHULI " ... =))

pareng soytee nasagot ko ba tanong mo

AMININ !

[oblak]

since i have been a fan of JOE D MANGOS LOVE NOTES since i was in high school ... pangangatawanan ko na po ito ... 

heres another lovestory from JOE D MANGOS LOVENOTES

LOVE ISNT FOREVER

Dear Joe,

Just call me kenneth. I'm 27 years old, with a swell job at one of the biggest networks in the country. My girlfriend, Clarissa, is very pretty, smart, understanding, religious and very loving. She has all the qualities you're looking for in a girl and she's the kind of girl you'd want to spend the rest of your life with.

My problem is that I haven't really treated her right. Instead of spending time with her, I went out with my friends and co-workers. I flirted with other women in front of her. She never said a word, and remained devoted to me. We lived together for three months when her mother went to the US for a vacation, and she was like a wife to me. She prepared everything for me, from the time I woke up till I went to bed. She wouldn't let a day pass without telling me she loved me.

There were so many things I couldn't put into words and so many words I couldn't put into actions, she submitted herself to me. It made me love her more but it made me take her more for granted, thinking that she was mine forever.

Until last December, Joe. A day before Christmas , she told me she was pregnant. I was startled and speechless, thinking I was going to be a father. But she told me that I was not the father of her child. I couldn't believe it. I didn't even notice the tears pouring down my cheeks. I was hurt. i couldn't accept that she went to bed with another man.

At that moment, I felt like killing myself. I hated myself for being so selfish and nor appreciating her. I never cherished her.

She called me the other week to tell me that she's leaving the country to marry the other guy. She told me she was leaving me for good this time and that she loved me very much.

Why is she doing this to me, Joe? I don't want her to marry him. I want to stop her and marry her even if the child is not mine. I want to take care of her and show her how i truly love her, appreciate her. how can i stop her, Joe? What should I do? I feel like I'm in a quicksand, the more I struggle out of it, the more it eats me up. I've been so depressed lately and I couldn't even concentrate on my job. I feel like I can't go on anymore.

JOES ADVICE:

Dear Kenneth,

Sometimes men can be too confident that they become insensitive to the feelings of others. Not because you were Clarissa's first love doesn;t mean that you're going to be her last. When we love someone so intensely we can go over our own needs and just unconditionally give all of ourselves to that person. We survive each day because of love even if the other person doesn't seem to take notice of it. We just give and sacrifice without expecting anything in return. but, just like a plant that will only survive for days without water and stand the harsh heat, love, no matter how true and strong it may be, will be short lived if not nurtured with the same care.

Clarrisa never stopped you but she was craving for attention and importance that you hard-heartedly gave to her. She was probably overwhelmed by the expressiveness of the other guy who might have made her believe that she deserves someone better than you. She was vulnerable because you took her for granted and she silently kept it to herself.

Kenneth, If you are willing to accept her and the responsibility for someone else's child and if you truly love her beyond any doubt, then go after her and never let her make the mistake of marrying someone she doesn't love. You can't get out of that quicksand you're stuck in. You need someone else to pull you out from it. Be honest with Clarissa and tell her what you feel. Prove that you love her and will never take her for granted again. Seek forgiveness for all that you have done to hurt her. She'll save you from drowning in that pitfall of regret and misery if she comes back to you.

But if she doesn't, then maybe it just means that you have to learn your lesson the hard way. That we only realize how important someone is to us when she's gone.

Love has no room for selfish people who think only of themselves. If we have been too busy with our work, have been kept by our distorted priorities then it's about time that we stop for awhile and think about the people who we might have stepped on and taken for granted. Love isn't forever. let us not wait too long to appreciate those who have unselfishly given it to us for all that may be left tomorrow are just the bitter and cold memories of someone who loved too much but was never loved enough.

sana nagustohan nyo